Saturday, 25 April 2009
did you lie here
where i lay yesterday
did they hold you
as gently as they hold me today
did they scratch your fading skin
did they soften with age
did they bear witness
as you passed through this place
then stay with me
as i tripped with school
do they tie us together
some ancient nocturnal rope trick
do they thin
with years, weathered
a finer thread
still tying us together
did they witness grief and tears
after the love that brought me here
will the name you gave to me
stitched and faded, one day pass on
folded and laundered
soon now they'll be quartered
staying and waiting
for your grandson to come
Sunday, 19 April 2009
"I think we must have a faith, and if we haven't we must find one.
Because if we don't, life is empty and senseless.
We must have some explanation why cranes fly south, why children are born, why there are stars in the sky.
Some system of belief.
Because either you know what you are living for or else nothing matters - the whole thing is absurd."
Masha speaking to Baron and Vershinin (with whom she enters into an affair) in Act 2. of Three Sisters, by Chekhov. (Brian Freil translation.)
Friday, 10 April 2009
if i could track your pitch n' weave
through space and endless time
if i could predict how i might rise
when you, sublime, decline
if i could pitch the tilt n' thrust
of Fate's uncertain hand
if i knew what she held for us
and still leave her in command
if the planets in their graceful speed
for centuries, certain, sway
if surely as i crave your touch
the Sun imparts her day
if tidal as the seas I swell
at the mention of your name
if gentle as a night time bloom
the Moon sends me this way
if lying in the still of night
i wonder how and where you are
if dreaming on this single dream
i wish upon that star
if tomorrow brings me closer to
the allignment of our hearts
then let the stars alone have their way
as they know I am yours
Sunday, 5 April 2009
This morning I came to the strangest realisation. I'm glad - nay, relieved - to have less disposable income, now that I'm living alone.
The thought of having to live a more limited (or maybe just a more 'considered') life was one of the main reasons that I had shyed away from living alone and kept me sharing with friends for so long.
But today, the thought excited me. So many distractions have been stripped away. I am more myself now that I've been for years. And, more importantly, I can't afford to galavant around town the way I used to; avoiding dreams and chasing ghosts.
I always knew this move would force me to spend more time on things like music. "consume less, create more" was more a dream than a maxim.
But now, this wonderfully puritanical new way of life, faciliates one of my greatest indulgences. Music.
I seem to have broken free. I can't help but think of Martin Luther nailing his tenets to that door...my front door...
"here we go again
on another great trip..."
Friday, 3 April 2009
whenever I look up and out
into the world so far and wide
when I tune out the screams & shouts
and fence off a moment to breathe & hide
when I close my eyes to wipe them clean
in preparation for things unseen
when I need to drink the still
and crave rememberance of sweeter pills
when I feel the need to share
the beauty lost here, still hiding there
when I yearn for a softer place
and dream of a gentle shoulder's grace
when I wonder if I've served my time
after waiting so patiently in line
when I turn my thoughts from you
for fear that dreams really don't come true
I see you, blurred, in distant lands
removed by months and hours and sands
I wonder when you'll come back home
to walk me through life's danger zone